I feel like getting a little personal with you today.
This is not about health and fitness; it’s about my personal life and my relationship with my now fiance, Kennedy.
When we first started dating, both her and I would agree that it was good, but there weren’t sparks flying immediately.
It wasn’t some fairytale movie where right away you know this is the one.
I’m sure that happens sometimes, but I feel like more often than not it’s not the case.
As we continued to date we always got along, we always wanted to be around each other, and we never got into any arguments. (we still don’t)
Fast forward a year, and I knew.
By our 1-year anniversary I knew she was the one. (and probably a little before that)
But there was no particular moment when it hit me that this is definitely the girl I want to spend the rest of my life with. It was a gradual, natural process.
And when thinking about it one day - is she the one? - I knew with 100% confidence, yes.
So the planning began.
In April of 2023 I told my brother that I was going to ask her to marry me.
A couple weeks later I told my sister, and then my parents.
When your family loves your significant other, telling them that you’re going to ask her to marry you is such a special moment I will always cherish.
Unfortunately, in order to get everyone’s calendars aligned, I wasn’t going to ask her until October 2023. So, I had a solid 6 months of keeping it inside of me and hiding it from Kennedy.
In the meantime I was strict with myself to not bring up the word “marriage” in conversation with her.
I don’t think that is the right or wrong approach per say.
It was just my approach.
My reasoning for it was because I felt like we were already on the same page. I felt like she knew how I felt about her and I knew how she felt about me.
And if I brought up “marriage” in advance it would almost be like asking in advance.
It would almost be like a safety net - like getting a yes before the actual yes. Like giving me a confidence booster before I took a knee.
Like asking her in advance, “are you going to say yes to me when I ask the most vulnerable question of my entire life?”
I didn’t want that safety net. I wanted there to be one moment where we truly commit to each other in a single question.
Again, not saying that’s right or wrong. Lord knows I’m no relationship expert. Just sharing how I approached it. And I think every relationship is different.
Then, I needed to decide where and how to do it.
A few criteria were:
- I wanted to do it someplace we could always go back to
- I wanted to do it someplace that had meaning to us
- I wanted to do it alone with her (with a hidden photographer and videographer)
- I wanted to be able to share that moment with her, just us two, for a little while after
Once I came up with the criteria, the location was easy.
That Friday morning we went to a 5am workout together, grabbed coffee, and then went on a walk.
15 minutes into the walk I popped the question, completely catching her off guard, then we still had 30 minutes left in the walk to talk about everything. And that was one of the best parts.
I planned so much in advance because I wanted this to be a special moment, a special weekend, and something we would always look back on and cherish.
I planned the day, the time, how to keep it a secret from everyone, what I was going to say to her, and more.
Why do I share this?
I think partly because I’m proud of myself haha.
No shame in saying that.
I think a lot of guys wing it and don’t prepare. Not me.
Again, everyone is different. Every relationship is different. And everyone's proposal moment can be special to them for different reasons.
But for me, I know all the intentionality, thought, and preparation made it much more meaningful for me and hopefully for her, too.
Preparation in all areas of life brings confidence and allows you to be present.
So many people said to me, “you probably have no idea what you said to her when you asked her, do you? You probably blacked out, right?”
Me:
“No, I know exactly what I said. I know exactly where on the bridge I was when I asked her. I know everything, because I prepared.”
Prepare in all areas of life and things will turn out better than if you didn’t.
Thank God she said yes!
To being prepared,
