Nutrition

How To Have A Healthy Relationship With Food

How can we nurture a healthy relationship with food for ourselves and then pass that down to our kids?

It’s crazy how things change over time.

In 2023 so many of us are concerned with having the proper relationship with food - me included.

I remember - just 7 years ago - when I was a senior in college, I wasn’t very mindful of what I was eating.

I ate frozen pizza, Jimmy John’s subs, and Chipotle like it was my job. 

Today, the thought of that makes me quiver.

Today there is a stigma around what’s healthy and what’s not healthy.

And everyone has a different opinion about it. 

And most people will describe a food item as good or bad. Healthy or unhealthy. They don’t leave room for anything in the middle.

That is one reason why so many of us have a poor relationship with food. 

That’s one reason why there is so much stress about food, why eating disorders and body dysmorphia are more prevalent than ever.

And this is a problem that doesn’t start and stop with us. This is something that we are going to have to manage with our children.

I know a lot of you reading and listening are very cognizant of nurturing a healthy relationship with food for your children - especially your daughters.

The last thing we want for our kids is to be maniacal about food. The last thing we want is for them to be constantly stressed about what they put in their body and how it will make them look.

So, how can we nurture a healthy relationship with food ourselves and then pass that down to our kids?

Having a healthy relationship with food is all about the mindset that you approach it with. Today I want to share 3 mindset shifts that, if and when you make them, you will find yourself having a much better relationship with food.

3 Mindset Shifts To Improve Your Relationship With Food

1. Restrictive Mindset vs. Abundance Mindset

This mindset is all about focus.

A restrictive mindset focuses on what you can’t eat while an abundant mindset focuses on what you can.

Over the last couple of decades the phrase “cheat day” or “cheat meal” has become a well known concept. It's one of the many things that has propelled a restrictive mindset towards food.

When you use the word “cheat,” you are describing something you’re not supposed to be doing. You’re describing stepping outside of a fixed boundary.

If someone feels trapped inside of a tiny, dark, creepy cave, the likelihood that they will willingly stay inside of it is very low.

A restrictive mindset sounds like:

- I am saving my “cheat meal” till Friday
- I “can’t” eat that food
- I’m “not allowed” to eat that food
- I wish I could eat that this or that

A restrictive mindset is an approach that might work for short-term results, but not for long-term health.

Adopting an abundance mindset towards food is all about focusing on what you can eat. 

It’s not obsessing about the fact that you can’t have that pizza. 

It’s looking forward to the new healthy recipe that you’re going to try.

It’s not looking at a restaurant menu and salivating over all the greasy fried food; it’s picking out the healthier, more colorful option that is going to taste so fresh and flavorful.

To have a better relationship with food, communicate about it differently with yourself and others.

Don’t use words like “cheat meal,” I “can’t” eat this, or I’m “not allowed” to eat this. Instead focus on all the healthier choices that are going to fuel your body properly.

2. Eat Healthy To Be Healthy, Not To Be Skinny

There is a motive behind every action you take.

Now-a-days people simply associate eating healthy with looking a certain way.

The internal dialogue might sound something like:

- I’m going to eat this salad so I can be skinny.
- I’m not going to eat this pizza because it will make me fat.
- I’m going to eat this chicken breast so I can look strong.

None of the above motives are wrong.

None of the above motives are bad or immoral.

And I’m not saying you shouldn’t think about what you eat in terms of how it will make you look.

But what I am saying is that it’s not a long-lasting approach that will help you maintain a healthy relationship with food.

Do I sometimes make decisions about what I’m eating based on how it will make me look?

Yes. 

I’d be lying to you if I said I didn’t. I want to be lean and strong. I eat my fruits and veggies and protein.

Of course there is some level of vanity.

But in the forefront of my mind, I remember that this is not my core motive.

My core motive is not that I want to look a certain way but that I want to be a type of person.

I want to be a healthy person who has boundless energy and confidence.

If you solely relate what you eat with how you look, that’s what leads to obsessiveness. 

If you relate what you eat with the type of person you want to be, that’s what leads to being in control and feeling peace around food.

Before diving into the 3rd mindset shift, I want to invite you to partake in one of our FREE offerings:

In this 1-Week Trial, you will get 3 free workouts, my goal-setting framework, and a weekly meal plan.

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I’d love to work with you soon.

3. You Are What You Eat Repeatedly; Not What You Eat In Isolation

I ate frozen pizza, Jimmy John’s, and Chipotle a lot my junior and senior year of college.

And believe it or not…

I’m still alive and here to tell the story.

Some people speak about certain foods like they are the devil - like they are going to kill you, make you fat, give you cancer, etc. - and that can get us so worked up about our food choices.

Are we eating the right kind of bread, having the right kind of milk, having the right kind of meat?

Is eating this meal going to give me cancer?! Type II Diabetes?!

I recently had a client tell me she was worried about the kind of milk she was buying. Long ago she was having dairy milk, then switched to almond milk, but now is hearing that almond milk might not be the best.

And she was so worried about what was best.

And I said, “look, if you’re that worried about almond milk vs. regular milk, you’re probably doing pretty good.”

Will drinking too much almond milk kill you? Doubt it.

Will drinking too much cow’s milk kill you? Unless you’re lactose intolerant, doubt it.

Every food falls on the spectrum of terrible to optimal.

Terrible for your health and optimal for your health.

Terrible <-------------------> Optimal 

If you eat things that are terrible for your health repeatedly, then yes, you will probably become a terribly unhealthy person.

If you eat things that are optimal for your health repeatedly, then yes, you will probably become an optimally operating human-being.

And then everywhere in between. 

But you are not what you eat one time; you are what you eat repeatedly.

Pay less attention to the unhealthy weekend you had, the unhealthy dinner you just ate, and be more focused on your weekly habits that sustain you.

Don’t get so worked up about eating something unhealthy every once in a while; you’ll live to tell the story.

Conclusion

Food is a polarizing topic.

But it shouldn’t be.

Believe me, my relationship with food isn’t perfect. I am someone who wants to be really healthy, and I am very conscious about what I put in my body. But I’m also conscious of not letting food rule my life. I’m conscious about not wanting to be someone who is overly obsessive and can’t go with the flow when I need to. Check my blog on What I Ate On My Brother's Bachelor Trip for clarification.

These mindset shifts have been huge for me and I hope they help you, too.

1. Restrictive Mindset vs. Abundance Mindset
2. Eat Healthy To Be Healthy, Not To Be Skinny
3. You Are What You Eat Repeatedly; Not What You Eat In Isolation

There are plenty of skinny people who are unhealthy.

Don’t make it about how you look - at least not entirely.

Make it about how you feel and who you want to be.

To having a healthy relationship with food and passing that down to your kids,

Nick

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